Crease Angle
Desk writer
NHL
NHL game markets, written by a person, checked by a rule that does not care what he thinks.
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Season 1 · opened September 19, 2026
22 pickers, one ledger
Five desk writers work by judgment. Seventeen Lab agents each run one published rule. Every pick is posted before the event and graded on Kalshi’s own settlement.
- Posted before the event
- Graded on Kalshi settlement
- Misses stay on the record
Nothing here is advice.
Where the pickers are
Seventeen agents, five doctrines
Inside The Lab
Agents 01 through 15, grouped by doctrine: Home Guard, The Drift, Arithmetic, Execution and Controls. Each one publishes the exact rule it runs, so the pick is predictable before it appears.
See all 17 agentsFive humans, named
The desk
Crease Angle is lead columnist on the NHL and publishes his read beside a machine that argues with him. Exclusive Tuna leads on UFC, MMA and prediction markets. Ice-Maiden covers the WNBA from inside the arena, and Diamond Panther works live in-game markets once the price is already moving.
Meet the writers22 pickers, one table
The full roster
Every writer and every agent in one ranked table, including the ones with no graded pick yet. Open positions sit beside graded results and carry no score.
See all 22 pickersThe roster, in pairs
Three pairs, one difference each
Six cards, three pairs. Each pair differs by exactly one thing, so you can read what that one thing changes. No result, no record and no ranking was used to choose them.
NHL. A person reads the game, a rule reads the ask.
Zamboni Turtle
Lab agent · Home Guard
NHL
Same rule as Big Chicken, on NHL games: home side between 50¢ and 80¢ to win, above 80¢ the margin rung nearest 70¢.
Read the ruleWNBA. The identical pick, entered at the bid instead of crossing the spread.
Big Chicken
Lab agent · Home Guard
WNBA
Read the home team's Kalshi ask.
Read the rule
Patient Gator
Lab agent · Execution
WNBA
Takes the identical pick Big Chicken takes, but records the entry at the bid rather than the ask, a resting limit order instead of crossing the spread.
Read the ruleA mechanism, against no mechanism at all.
Blueprint Beaver
Lab agent · Arithmetic
NFL
For each game, find the home team's half-point margin rung, the 'wins by over 0.5' contract.
Read the rule
Dartboard Chimp
Lab agent · Controls
Multi-sport
Takes the SHA-256 of the market ticker and buys the home side when the last bit is 0, the road side when it is 1, whenever the chosen side is between 20¢ and 80¢.
Read the ruleAll nineteen are in the roster, including the ones with no graded pick yet.
Season 1opened September 19, 2026
A season is a fixed, continuous scoring window: every graded pick from the opening date forward lands in the same ledger, and the ledger does not reset when it looks bad.
Live standings
The standings
Writers and agents side by side, on graded picks only. Open positions are listed and carry no score.
The desk
+$35.93
per $100 staked
The Lab
−$91.17
per $100 staked
| 22-7 | Record | 1-2 |
|---|---|---|
| 29 | Graded picks | 3 |
| $17,556 | Staked | $279 |
| +$6,307.76 | Net | −$254.61 |
| 1 open | Live now | 3 open |
Read the top number, not the dollar totals. The totals differ because the stakes do, and the per-$100 figures are $127.10 apart. The Lab has 3 graded picks, which is a sample, not a season.
| # | Picker | Form | W-L | Net |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  Exclusive TunaWriter | 20-6 | +$6,361.77 | |
| 2 |  Ice-MaidenWriter | 2-0 | +$45.92 | |
| 3 |  Comeback CicadaLab agent | 1-0 | +$5.61 | |
| 4 |  Agent BradLab agent | 0-1 | +$0.00 | |
| 5 |  Diamond PantherWriter | 0-1 | −$99.93 | |
| 6 |  October OwlLab agent | 0-1 | −$260.22 | |
| 7 |  Agent KomodoLab agent | not yet run | — | — |
| 8 | Big ChickenLab agent | not yet run | — | — |
See all 25, writers and agents
Too early to mean anything. 32 graded picks across everyone. Any lead here is noise, and it is published anyway because a record you only show once it flatters you is not a record.
The terms
The rules of the match
Both sides run under the same published constraints. No exceptions, no retroactive edits.
- Posted before the event. Every pick goes up before the start, with a timestamp locked in git history that anyone can check.
- Graded on settlement. Outcomes come from Kalshi’s own settlement, not from our reading of the result.
- Misses stay up. A losing pick is never deleted, hidden or rewritten after the fact. The ledger is cumulative.
- Agents show the rule. All seventeen publish the exact mechanical logic they run, so you can read it and predict the pick before it posts.
- One market, one entry. Each author takes a market once. No averaging in, no second bite, no quietly better price later.
Why this is measurable
The controls
Three of the seventeen agents are built to have no edge whatsoever. Lazy Llama picks alphabetically. Dartboard Chimp picks by a SHA-256 hash of the ticker, which anyone can recompute and verify. Blindfold Bat buys whatever the exchange happens to label YES. None of them look at a line, a matchup or a number. They are not weak strategies. They are the absence of strategy, running in public, on the same board, under the same grading.
They are here to fail, and their failure is the measurement. If a null control ever finishes near the top of these standings, the honest conclusion is not that alphabetical order works. It is that the scoring is broken, the sample is noise, or both, and every other number on this page is unproven until that is fixed. Most sites bury the thing that could discredit them. We numbered it, named it and put it in the standings.
The record so far
Milestones
A dated log of firsts, generated from the ledger rather than written by hand.
First pick locked
Exclusive Tuna on UFC 331: Chikadze vs Brito. It lost, and it is still on the board.
First graded win
Ice-Maiden on Portland Fire at Los Angeles Sparks.
First Lab agent entry
Comeback Cicada took Toronto at Baltimore live, against a published base rate.
First agent result on the board
Comeback Cicada graded a win. The Lab has a record now.
Largest single result so far
Exclusive Tuna on BTC price on Friday at 5pm EDT, settled at the full dollar.
Every figure in this section comes from graded picks only, recalculated on settlement. Open positions are shown for transparency and carry no score.
Where these contracts trade
Kalshi
Every price and every grade on this page comes from Kalshi’s own settlement. If you want to look at the contracts yourself, this is the exchange.
Open a Kalshi accountThe Morning Board · free
One email, same five slots every issue
- 1Market of the Day
One real market. Write your fair value before you see ours.
- 2Open plans
Buy price, sell target and the hold rule for each one.
- 3Since last issue, graded
Fills, holds and settlements, losses included.
- 4A 60-second lesson
Sizing, fees, taking profits or stopping on time.
- 5The RG line
Helplines and a reminder to set a money limit first.
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Referral milestones
Share it, get more to learn
When friends you refer confirm their email, you move up. Rewards are lessons and access, never betting credit, deposit matches or anything tied to how much anyone trades.
- 3
Bonus lesson pack
Three extra lessons: reading a line move, scaling out of a position, and writing a post-mortem on a trade that lost.
- 5
The archive
Every past Morning Board and Monday Review, searchable by market and sport.
- 10
A month of Desk
One free month of the Desk membership once memberships open. No card needed to claim it.
Fair-use rules: a referral counts after the new reader confirms their email and stays subscribed for 14 days, one reward per household, and self-referrals don't count. Each email will include your personal share link.
Every Monday
The Monday Review
A weekly look back, in the same inbox as the Morning Board. It's the habit we want you to build: review the plan before you make the next one.
- Last week's plansEvery plan we posted, with the buy price, target and hold rule as written.
- Fills and holdsWhich sell orders traded, which plans went to settlement, and the result in units before and after fees.
- What we'd changeOne honest note on a plan that didn't work.
- One lessonA link into the Trade Smart path, tied to something that happened that week.
Community guidelines
How we talk here
These apply to comments, the Discord server and replies to our posts. The full rules for writers are in the editorial standards.
Be decent
Argue about prices, not people. No personal attacks, harassment of athletes, or piling on someone after a loss.
No selling
No touting, paid pick services, referral links or promo codes. Links are fine when they're relevant and not spam. That rule is for posts, not for us: our own affiliate links are labelled “Affiliate link” wherever they appear, and they never change a grade.
Keep it private
No personal information about anyone, including yourself. Don't post account balances or screenshots with your details.
Show your plan
If you share a trade, share the whole plan: entry, target and what you do if it never fills. No "tail me" posts.
Look out for each other
If someone sounds like they're chasing losses, point them to help rather than a pick.
Report, don't reply
Use the report button. First posts are reviewed, and repeat violations end in a ban.
Community posts are readers' views, not financial or betting advice. Only risk what you can afford to lose. Gambling problem? Call or text 1-800-MY-RESET. Responsible gambling guide
Social
Where we'll post
The handles aren't claimed yet because the site name isn't final. Each card becomes a link once the account exists.
X
Plans when they lock, sell orders when they fill, and the grade after settlement.
Handle TBDTikTok
60-second lessons: units, sell targets, fees and when to stop.
Handle TBDInstagram
The daily plan card and the Monday Review in one image.
Handle TBDYouTube
Longer walk-throughs of the desk, the planner and the lessons.
Handle TBDDiscord
A members' server for the Desk plan, with a free channel for lessons.
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